The cooties

My kids have cooties. At least, that's what they tell me they have.

Ivy came into my room this morning all squiggly with her shirt off. She says, "mom, I have the cooties again! Yep, I'm all itchy on my skin so I have the cooties"!
Then she takes off the rest of her pj's, throwing them on my rustic furniture for me to scratch her back.

Weekly Challenge 12/19-25

I subscribe to an online organizing newsletter that gives challenges every week to accomplish. These are to help to organize and clean all areas of your life. I started doing the challenges in a hit and miss fashion last year, but this year, I really hope to do them weekly.

This past week I was supposed to donate a minimum of 10 things to charity. And I think that I took 3 bags worth. It felt great to get that stuff out of my house before the new deluge comes in with Christmas tomorrow. Let's hope Bec doesn't end up with an engine driven pumps in his stocking.

My first week is done! On to week 2!

Not a hoarder :)

I'm reading a fascinating book on hoarding called, "Stuff". It is so interesting. Some people could even use a life insurance quote to use for all of their stuff falling onto their kids ! And it has the added benefit of inspiring me to take a break from reading and get rid of stuff. I told my mom that I think I'm the opposite of a hoarder, more of a purger. I feel the best after I have sorted through a certain area, bagged up stuff to donate, then actually take it to Goodwill or wherever it needs to go. That last part is key, actually getting it out of my space. It feels so freeing. So, before work today, I went to the used book store to trade in books, dropped off a sack of hand me downs to a friend and then took bags to Goodwill. I can breathe easier now :)

I love

to write on my hands. If people even try to hand me a piece of paper, I'll refuse it. The only way that I will really remember to accomplish something important. It has to be written on the palm of my hand. And sometimes, if I really think that I might forget, I'll write it on the top of my hand too. Sometimes I use my smartphone like the htc sense but that always makes it slip my mind

surprise

I may need to begin shopping for prom dresses! My brother said that there is talk of throwing a 40 birthday party for me and a 60 birthday party for my step dad this April. Not too sure if it will pan out, I was actually hoping for a low key day this year, but who knows?

Black Friday

I love it when you think that you know someone really well, and then they throw you a curveball. My friend for a million years just confessed to me that she loves Black Friday. she would be the absolute last person I would expect to be out on that day. but, lo and behold, she surprises me.

funny

I was telling Chris this morning that we have a sick Becken. I said, "He has a icky throat, cough and his nose is sick." I didn't put in that he should reduce belly fat Becken pipes in, "Don't forget the cootie!" So I added, "Yes, he also has the cooties." Too funny.

Henry

Hendrix's favorite person in the whole wide world teaches in our 3 year old room. She sent me these photos (posted below) this morning and texted that Henry now says he is 3 and is refusing to go to 2s. :) He gets dropped off with her and then eats lunch with her in her class. Good thing she isn't using best proven weight loss pills, otherwise he wouldn't be liking to share her food!

4x4

just got this from my friend Jenn Emmerson, and thought I'd pass it along. anyone else want to participate?
1. 4 Places I spend $. Goodwill, Walmart, Safeway, Borders and a page to visit next Feburary may take some of my money as well
2. 4 Favorite smells: new make up, johnson and johnson baby wash/lotion, good food cooking & patchouli incense
3. 4 People I think will respond the quickest: n/a
4. 4 TV shows I like to watch: Law and Order SVU, Glee, LA Ink, Flipping Out

making myself feel better

with a list of today's accomplishments since I feel so very unmotivated:

• got ivy to school on time
• worked out
• put in 2 hours at daycare
• picked up ivy on time
• separated avon order
• not checking insurance quotes

at least I've done somethings...

Bat princess

Dropping the girl off at school today, I noticed many princesses heading into class. A cinderella with plastic glass slippers. A pink princess with a long train coming from her hat. And then there was my kid. Long black dress with clip in bat ears and dark smokey make up. If I would have had a choice, she is the one I would have picked. I like having the odd one. She is a leader.

Mario and Luigi

Bec and his best friend dressed up like Mario and Luigi today. They both love the Mario games so the costumes are right up their alley. Those two could be twins. It was neat to see them hanging out together at preschool. Super cute.

Back from CA

But man did I miss my boys. This morning Bec said to me,
"Mom is your heart fixed cuz you came home from Disneyland? Cuz my heart is all fixed now."
I love this guy so much.

Release date!

Just picked up the new Kat Von D book! I'm only a day late and I used a 33% off coupon. Lots of amazing reading and studying hours for less than $13. The book is waiting on my bathroom sink for me to climb into the tub and read it tonight!

And Friday is the beginning of dress up weekend for Halloween.

This is exciting!

Disney Princesses

Being around all of the princesses the last couple of days has me wondering and thinking about which one is my favorite. Ivy really likes Ariel, and from the cartoon, I'd guess that Belle would be my favorite because she loves to read like I do.

But, although she isn't a princess, my favorite character would have to be Mary Poppins. We saw her a couple of times at the park today and I was enchanted. I'd love to be her for Halloween one year. I wonder if they sell the costume somewhere? She was wearing the white dress and hat that ties under the chin with red accents. Pretty.

bread and chocolate

croissants with chocolate baked inside. YUM!!
I had one in the Seattle airport yesterday morning. Then I had one at the La Brea bakery this morning on our way into Disneyland. YUM!!
The Seattle one was better by far, but I'm not going to pass up the CA one tomorrow or the next day. We are having a very nice time. Not a Branson vacations but a Disney vacation is just fine by me.
I can breathe a sigh of relaxation for the first time in a very long time.
Sigh.

Is there any better smell

than Johnson and Johnson's baby lotion? I think not.
My baby niece wears it after every bath and it smells like heaven to me. So, today I dug through an old diaper bag and found a trial size to use on my boys. Right now my hands smell so wonderful. I love it.
Chris said that when he was little his parents used to put the baby oil in the tub. Too bad I couldn't throw some in our jacuzzi to help with some stress relief! Along that line, too bad we don't have a Jacuzzi. :)

we have a dog

she has been with us for about a month and she is wonderful. there is a huge story to go along with her (isn't there always when you add a family member)
she is cute and sweet and although she is another responsibility, I really look forward to seeing her every day. And I'm kind of surprised.
Took her to the vet for her SD card, which is more like a chip for them to scan if she gets lost. That's how much we love her already.

junk

food! quarter pounder with cheese with extra pickles and extra onions baby!! perfect Sunday lunch as far as I"m concerned :)

Add into that, eating said lunch while dreaming about an ipad. Also eating lunch while working with my netbook that I love but want to upgrade to an ipad. While watching dvr'ed Law and Order on our television. Each day, I consider how lucky I am.

One for the afternoon

The older two are at a birthday party. The baby is home with us. We have taken a walk to eat our lunch and walked back. Our service at lunch involved someone who was working on a sales career. We have napped and watched television. We ask each other if this is what one child feels like. We kind of can't wrap our minds around it. We are enjoying him. We are missing the others.

Nana's nightgowns

Today was a day where I looked forward to putting everyone to bed. Most of all myself. After my bath, I put on a jewel toned, beautiful green nightgown that was my nana's, never once wondering ' do diet pills work' because my mind is so relaxed. I have many of her night gowns from over the years, but the ones that I have gotten from her estate are especially comfortable. A few times a week I will wear one and it always is comfortable and it always makes me feel better.

Holy Smokes my kids are loud

But now, since we have been in our new bigger, much loved, bigger house, they aren't even as close to as loud as they used to be. Even if they took some hgh supplements, I don't think that they could be any louder! The designated noisy areas are in the basement and in the backyard which, are a nice ways away from where I usually am. It's just nice to have some distance before the soundwaves hit my ear drums.

A nanny

I wish. But, since I'm laid up this weekend and I have a woman staying in my home and caring for my children, I'm pretending that I have a nanny. I love it.

The 4 year old isn't having it though. He keeps sneaking away to 'wash his hands' or 'find a car' and then he ends up in my room and won't leave. He really misses his dad. He really misses his brother who is staying with a friend of mine. But, for now he is asleep and I'm living the nanny dream.

Sigh

Jack Frost Cold Pack

In my recouperation kit from dental surgery today, they put in one of those cold packs that you snap and shake to make cold. I am in LOVE with it!

I'm supposed to pack for 20 minutes then rest my face for 20 minutes. So guess how long the cold lasts? 20 minutes!! And then guess how long it takes to chill in the refridgerator before I can use it again? Yep, 20 minutes.

It's so cool when things work like that!

Another one from B

One of Henry's favorite people in the world calls him "Henrique". So, in Bec's mind, and his variation of it is, "Henry K". It's so cute when he is wandering around the house calling, "henry K, henry K, where are you?" The things that this kid comes up with! there are times that I wouldn't even be shocked if he started spouting off rv insurance quotes compared to the other things that come out of his mouth.

grilled green chiles

from the garden of my sis in law, charred on her bbq and put on to my chicken breast sandwich. Sooooo good. I love green chiles! And we got extra to bring home. So YUM you guys! A nice night, although it was pretty windy. The kids playing in the yard with the dog. My brother in law smoking cigars on the deck. me not having to cook.

lemonade cookies

actually iced lemonade cookies. The box/bag says that the old favorites have returned. they never used to be a favorite, but this summer, I cannot get enough.

the old scooby doo

one of the favorite dvds that the kids own, is a collection of "spookiest" original scooby doo episodes.
We watch the new cartoons. We watch the movies with the real actors and sometimes the new series. Which are all ok.
But the original cartoon is where my heart is at. I remember watching them and being scared as a kid. I remember that I had a scooby doo coloring book and that I always wanted to be Daphne. But I've always wanted her to have dark hair.

playdate

Ivy has one of her friends over, who is also a cousin. they are only about 6 weeks apart and it is so cute to actually hear Ivy be a kid. Instead of a bossy big sister. They are pretending to be dogs, vampires, werewolves. They have made a fort and are in the process of making a picnic/tea party. I wonder if when they are grown if they will vacation together too? Possibly a Branson vacation package? So cute!

today I'm happy for

indoor running water. My preteen niece and my daughter needed a ride to the movies today and were wearing perfume. Which, I am allergic to. Which gave me a huge migraine. Not happy stuff.

But after a bath/shower and lots of rinsing and coconut hypoallergenic shampoo, I can be in the same room as my daughter.

Farmville, Yes, I did

I'm not a big television watcher. And I'm really not big on movies. Taking time out to read is my favorite passtime, but that doesn't happen often enough to keep me sane. So facebook, and farmville really let me find some downtime. Even if the kids are home. Simple, quick, but all for me.

door hooks

today while the kids were at swim lessons, I had to use the restroom. on the back of the door was a hook to use for my purse or jacket if I had had one.

I hadn't noticed how great hooks were until I was hauling a diaper bag around. I really didn't want to set that on the floor. And now if a bathroom has a hook, it has my gratitude.

happy to be surrounded

by friends. For a shoulder to lean on, arms to hug and ears to listen, I have amazing friends at each job that I go to. And amazing friends in town and out of town. They make the stressful times so much better.

dooce

for those of you that read dooce, have you been reading lately? Her post about her birthday makes me laugh through tears. Here's a quote that still makes my stomach hurt from laughing. (I'm now doing some editing and thinking about
Asus and I'm still crying reading this quote)

"What would you have done in this situation?
Right.
That's what I thought.
I slammed the door, had a heart attack, died, came back to life, and then ran screaming down two flights of stairs. SC-RAH-HEAMING. It just kept coming out of my mouth involuntarily. I couldn't stop it: AAAAAHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH!
The whole time thinking OH MY GOD I FOUND THE MYTHICAL BOBCAT"

My God she makes me laugh.

So much happiness

I have a beautiful new niece. I'm eating tom yum goong soup. more on both later. Happy birthday to my niece with no name. She was born 5 weeks early, is home now, named, and her mom doesn't need power wheels to get around anymore. Life is great.

not happy night

but, although the night was horrible, my brother J came to my rescue. And having that man in my life makes me happy. I wish he didn't think blogging was so nerdy or I'd send him this link.

Being sick II

Feeling much better, but not back to normal yet. I was thinking about things to be happy about while being sick with this cold, and one thing keeps coming to mind. I'm happy that I know I will get better. It's a cold. Or it's allergies, or pms or pregnancy or something else that resolves. I'm so grateful that I haven't had anything chronic or terminal to deal with in my own health or the health of my kids. There are medications. There are treatments. There are natural fat burners to help when I go on a diet.
And that makes me happy.

Being Sick

Isn't something to be happy about, but this quote from Bec is.
He knows that I stayed home today with a cold. While he was eating dinner tonight he says,
"So Mom, how was your day and your sleep today?" I tell him, "Well babe, I missed you, but I didn't feel so well with my cold."

He says, "Well, you still look pretty."

This boy loves his Ma!

Maybe he'll run a customer service department at wholesale distributors or someplace. He has the charming skills.

funny forward from a friend

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such asRomance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such asNBA 5.0,NFL 3.0 andGolf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. And it continually suggests my use of lipofuze reviews for weight loss.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

*******************************************
DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:Cooking 3.0 andHot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

following

I have finally updated my blogs that I love to follow on a regular basis, not including the clinicalliex review blog, which I could do without.
Before the following feature on blogger, I used to just click on each link and then get extremely irritated when the blog post wasn't new. Especially if it had been a while and if I really loved the blog/writer. It was pretty irrational and I hate to admit how much it bugged me.

But that was the past baby! Practically ever day there are updates from my faves. Personal blogs, blogs that only show illustrations, blogs that give tutorials, they are all there. With almost no work on my part. Smile!

Today is Father's Day

But today, I feel like I'm the one that has walked away with the gift.

During a mid morning lull, I sat down with henry and started to watch the pilot episode of LA Ink, not including any motorhome insurance commercials, since it was on netflix. He fell asleep in my lap which is something he has rarely done.

so, I had an uninterrupted hour of sitting on the couch, watching a show that I love with my sleeping baby on my lap. Heaven was mine for an hour today.

Glee

Watching Glee for the first time ever! I'm cracking up and singing along. I rented the first two discs for the weekend but I'm thinking that I'll end up getting another before Sunday. That cheer coach is insane. :)

(Well, the kids came in and hijacked the tv, so I'm heading to the tub to soak in some super hot, healing, calming water in the dark with some candles. That sounds pretty happy alright!)

Alice In Wonderland

I'm not a big movie fan, but I really enjoyed this one. We just bought the combo pack on Friday and are just sitting down tonight to watch it. Finally.
I wasn't sure if I remembered the scary parts, so I didn't want to watch it with them. Hopefully, I'll be able to share some of it with them. It's just so pretty. The costumes, including the riding boots are a visual feast!

Vodka and tonic

I'd never had this cocktail before this summer. One of my girlfriends ordered it during a girl's only lunch and I had to try it. MMMMMM LOVE! Mandarin vodka and tonic water. Very refreshing. I had another one recently while Chris and I were out to lunch. He liked it too. Which is very uncommon for both of us to like the same drink. Anyhow, by chance, I thought to pick up some tonic water at the store tonight. Let's say that due to these 2 ingredients, PMS isn't kicking my butt anymore today. That = happiness.

a little piece of heaven....

in my backyard.

This makes me happy. I love rain--it's cozy. I love this teeny-tiny haven...my personal get-away.

Adding more jibber jabber

Mr. Baby is talking! Last week he said, "Cheese" when we were taking his picture. Yesterday he said, "Bec" which sounds like "Beh" and it is the cutest thing. He even says a version of Ivy that we really think is "Ivy" but sounds more like "Ahhh" with the inflection of Ivy. But as far a the volume of words spoken, Chris and Bec take the gold in our family. Doesn't matter if they are giving diet pill reviews or recaps of Diego, those two talk up a storm.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

One of my favorite kids movies. I was so thankful when Ivy picked it out at the movie store tonight. She and Bec also picked out Mario Galaxy 2 which they are trying to figure out.

Our routine is that after they are ready for bed, they climb into the covers and I put on a movie. They switch nights that they get to pick. Anyway, back to BHC, the part that cracks me up is when Rachael is reprimanding Sam the gardener about his dog, saying, "Muy bad. Muy muy bad! Mucho naughty!" Every time that part comes on I laugh and then for a couple of days afterwards, I say that to the kids when they act up. They crack up too. Plus, I love the main actress who I totally cannot think of her name, oh, Jamie Lee Curtis! You can tell that woman uses eye creams that work. She looks so amazing.

Mission accomplished

My piles and piles and piles of laundry are done. I could add on a few more piles in there to make it more realistic. Like I had taken a series of Philadelphia jobs and saved all my laundry to wash back home in WA.
At every point when I thought I could see the end in sight, more laundry would emerge. Changing both of the kids' beds. Finding Chris' laundry still in the closet.

But, I made it through and it's done. And I'm very happy about that.

Daddy's Girlfriend

So the title to this may not seem like a happy thing but listen to this story:

While I ran into the grocery store for a few things, Chris drove across the parking lot with the kids to put gas in the car. The attendant was a woman that usually works as a checker inside the store and they were talking while Chris paid the bill. When they got into the car, Bec asked, "Daddy, is that your girlfriend?" Chris said, "No, she isn't my girlfriend." Bec says, "So, you don't have a girlfriend?" Chris says, "I have a girlfriend and it's Mommy." Bec asks, "My mommy?" Chris says, "Yes, your mommy." Bec thinks about this for a bit and says, "Karianne?" Chris says, "Your mommy is my girlfriend and after we had you and Ivy, then she turned into my wife." I wonder if I need some of the best eye cream for dark circles? Is that why Bec doesn't think I'm a worthy gf for his daddy?


I still don't think that Bec believed any of it.

Watching weight

So, after being inspired by Katie and her explanation on the weight watchers points system, I signed up yesterday. And it's hard for me. And, I'm not sure how long I will last on it. Sometimes I'd like to find easy weight loss supplements instead.


But, the happy part about all of this is all that I'm learning! I'm addicted to the web page and am continually looking up recipes, foods and workouts. That part is very fun.

I'm not a big eater in the morning, but around noon, all the way through to dinner time I'm a hungry lady. I have to work on that. But, it's fun to challenge myself.

The timing for all of this is great this week. Mondays and Tuesdays are normally very good days for me to be motivated and to get things done. Wed-Friday, not so much. Any time PMS is involved, it's worse. So, let's take it day to day huh?

Spending time

Have you ever really thought about how you "spend" your time, just like money? I was thinking about this recently. Just the way that the wording plays out in real life. Yes, sometimes I think way too much about odd things.

Anyway, this weekend I spent my time very happily and wisely as far as I'm concerned. I drove to another part of the state to visit Melissa and meet up with Katie. Talk about a wonderful weekend and time very well spent in terms of my well being. These two are certified diamonds in my life.
Talking with friends, sleeping through the night and driving by myself did wonders to renew my spirit.

I feel even more in love with my life because of the way the time was spent. Wow, it's Tuesday and I'm still in a good mood!!

Love you guys!

Yes, You Can Make Homemade Bread

Baking bread makes me happy, mostly because other people enjoy freshly baked bread so much. :)

Basic Italian Bread Recipe, by Katiefucious

1 Tbsp (or 1 packet) yeast
2 cups warm milk (the fattier the better--I find buttermilk works wonderfully)
2 Tbsp brown sugar
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp salt
5 cups flour

**If you're using a bread machine, add the warm milk and yeast and let them sit for about five minutes. Then add the rest of the ingredients in the order listed. Use the dough setting. Add flour as needed, if the dough sticks to the sides.

**If you're mixing it by hand, do much the same thing, but knead the resulting dough with your hands for about ten minutes until it's smooth and not too sticky. A nice bread dough will feel soft and not lumpy. It will be doughy, but won't stick to everything. Add flour as needed. When the dough is nice and smooth, take out a large bowl and grease the sides and bottom of it with olive oil. Put the dough into the bowl and roll it around to make sure it is covered with oil. Cover the bowl with a damp towel. Let dough rise until doubled in size--about an hour or so.

When the dough has risen, punch it down and remove it from the bread machine or bowl. Separate it into two lumps, and shape them into your loaves. Put the loaves on an ungreased baking surface like a cookie sheet or pan--you can put them both on the same cookie sheet if there is enough room between them. There should be at least six or eight inches between them or they will stick to each other after they rise.

Allow the dough to rise in a warm place for another hour or so. If you can find a sunbeam, that works very well! The dough will rise until almost double in size again. If it doesn't rise quite that much, don't get frustrated.

When the dough is almost finished rising, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Depending on how you've shaped the loaves, baking time will vary. I check the loaves while they are baking. It will probably take at least 20 minutes, so maybe set your timer for 20 min and then check it every five minutes afterwards. When the outside of the loaf is a nice warm brown color--not too dark--the bread will be done.

Sometimes I roll out the dough and cut it into strips to make breadsticks. They are really really really really really good. Yummmmm.

Chocolate Chess Pie

I just made my first Chocolate Chess Pie and I'm in love. Chocolate pie is my favorite so I was excited to try this one. I took out a book from the library, titled simply, "Pie" It has over 300 recipes in it. I'm looking for a used copy on ebay that will be somewhat affordable. Anyway, I used a refrigerated crust, but I partially baked it according to the recipe.

OMG!! What a difference it made with the bottom crust. It took longer, a lot more watching, but it is so good! I can't wait for Chris to try it.

slumber

having myself and each of my family members fall asleep and stay asleep for the duration of the night. at all around the same time. That would be heaven. And at this point, an unattainable dream. Sigh. There is no need for any plus size lingerie in this house. Double sigh.

junk food and play places

Since I"m on my own for the weekend with the kiddos, I've been trying to think of things to do to get us out of the house and keep us busy. And to keep them away from the variety of electronics that I let them use during the week.


tonight we are meeting friends at McDonalds, where Chris doesn't like to eat. With the play place, the kids will go nuts and run around. me and tish will pass the baby back and forth, giving me a break from him breaking my arm off holding him.

Time to go!

clothes time

It's time to break out the shorts and tanks around this place. Some may be hip hop clothes, flowing dresses or bathing suits, but a change of body coverings is in order.

Any reason to jazz up my look, or do something different is cause for a smile in my book. I spent the afternoon looking at goodwill for some original attire, but didn't find anything that I would spend my $ on. Next off, it's heading to the basement to figure out what I already have!

large leaps

and small steps. The house has started to become more "us". We have had some major painting done, replaced some furniture and now we are having the outside painted. With each little personalization, (not including the new basement dehumidifier into that category) the house becomes ours.

But, I'm noticing more that it is the little things that really make it feel like home. I'm thinking about when I went to the basement and brought up some art prints I had done a while back. I set them up in our bedroom. They don't match. It doesn't "add" anything to the room from a design point. But each night when I fall asleep and look at them, I feel at home.

New Job!!!

Joel got offered another part time job! Yippee! And it could possible grow into full time. We will see! Oh so happy and proud of him!

Given the "Okay"

About a month ago, I was having so much anxiety. The pressure of deadlines looming without any ideas is one of the most helpless feeling an artist can have. You begin to doubt everything.

THANKFULLY, I'm now on the other side. I just got word from the freelance boss that he loves the look. . . and even better, so do I! I still have more design to do, but it will all be based on what I just did. So I'm feeling ready to conquer this project, get my money, and go on vacation in June. WHOO HOO! Time to kick it in high gear!

A grandbaby for tlc

My partner at work is a grandma! Last week her son and his girlfriend had a sweet little boy that I cannot wait to see photos of. I keep telling her to take a break from giving facials, massages and back acne treatments to download some pictures, but she hasn't yet. She promised me some today. It's been almost a week. You'd think I would have seen some by now!!

I'm counting this as a success

My mom told me that Ivy was watching cartoons at her house the other day. After a few episodes (which may or may not have included a noxycut ad), Ivy stood up and told my mom, "Whew! Mema, that is enough t.v! I need to draw or something!" I'd like to think that must have something to do with homeschool art, don't ya think?

Gum

I'm not sure what I would do without gum to keep me alert at work. Some people have coffee. I chew. I've been loving these new fruit flavors from Extra lately. Berry Smoothie, Strawberry Banana, Sweet Watermelon. Mmmmm! So good.

YUM

You can't see the image very well, but this is a Lindt chocolate bar with chili. This is the only candy bar I have bought for myself since buying one in January. Delish. Can't really even tell you how good it is.

Tonight Chris came home from Target and had brought one home for me. Sweet.

Seeing my own doctor

or her assistant. This infection isn't resolving and I'd like to find out what is going on. I've put off going back to the e.r. so I can see my doctor tomorrow. It's taken about all of my will to not call her at home and I'm proud that I haven't. But let me tell ya, tomorrow coming closer has me very happy at this point!

I'm one day closer

to being done with taking the kids to basketball on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Right about this time in the season, I seriously think about taking them out. They wouldnt know the difference and I just dread getting them ready, being there and then getting them home. I'd so much rather be doing blackhead removal on myself than being driver for those 2. But,
Regardless, I'm one day closer. :)

New Pants

The other day I went to Dillard's because I had a little bit left on a gift card from Christmas, and I desperately needed some new pants for work. It was a reward of sorts for dropping a size. My old work pants weren't fitting as well and were never that comfortable. I was also looking for something that was more in the business casual classification. I only own business or casual—nothing in between.

So I was a little annoyed because I couldn't find my gift card. However I went ahead and looked. And I found 2 pair of khakis (one dark brown, one tan) that were my new size, petite length, AND on sale for—get this—$9 a piece! Whooo hooo!

I've been wearing them for a week, and I'm loving them. They aren't necessarily the most stylish with the waist line hitting me above my belly button, but they are comfortable and go with all my tops. (And it is much better than showing my butt crack when I sit down!) Plus I have a pair of business casual shoes that work perfect with the pants. They are basically sneakers but they look nicer. With these, I can go for walks at lunch.

AND one final thing, I washed and dried them and they didn't shrink. Perfect. Maybe now I won't be depressed when Casual Friday is canceled due to a client visit. I have something almost as good at jeans. :)

When things get easier

This year for Easter, things have went smoothly. When Chris and I were first together and new parents, any holiday was cause for a huge fight that would last before and after the actual day. for awhile there, I thought that this would never change.

But here and there, there were signs of improvement. Like slowly waiting for acne body wash to improve your appearance. And today was a sure sign of pure happiness in our family. I think that he has gotten to the point of letting go of the house and of being the "host" when my family comes over. He can be himself, let our house be like it is on any other day and just sit back and enjoy the company without having to stress about things being perfect. It makes all of our lives so much easier.

And I've learned to let go of his behaviour. Just let him do what he needs to to feel comfortable and in control, while going on with my own business. Maybe this is what it is all about

Happiness is...

being parents again!  We got the call on Thursday that we were selected to be the parents for Maria age 7 and Alex age 5.  They are bi-racial and beautiful!!!!  We go on Friday the 9th for our initial meeting with the social workers, foster parents and specialists.  We will from there set up 3 or 4 visits with the kiddos and hopefully bring them home the beginning of June.  We will post pics as soon as we can.  YAY!!!!

Saw my nana today

and she looked amazing! She was sitting up and talking. I brushed her hair, pulled it back out of her face. She told me that I had to use the hard brush because she has a hard head! I told her that she needed a headband. She then asked if it would be an Indian headband! I told her no, a headband like Ivy wears. And lo and behold, Miss Ivy walked in with a bunny headband on! When I left her to rest, she was wearing bunny ears. What a great visit. And I got photos :) Check my facebook for the evidence.

Happiness is...

Our daughter's report card consisted of three A+'s, two A's; and two B's.  So very proud of our Emma.  Good Job Baby Girl!!!

Someone who wants to work

Our house needs a lot of little things done to it to make it feel more like "ours". The main updating of major things like electrical systems, etc have been done. But, the decor has been described to me as, "Um, Karianne, 1983 called and it needs it's wallpaper back." So true.

Chris of course, can barely handle any of this on any given day, so right after we signed for the house, he tackled his bathroom. Now, he doesn't have the time to really do anything around the house, but his bathroom is painted. He removed the wallpaper using minor industrial products
and took down the fixtures. S L O W G O I N G.

I hired a friend of mine to paint the main bathroom and trim. It looks gorgeous and she only charged us $100 and that included the paint. HEAVENLY!!

But the best is that she called me tonight and said that while we are away on a little trip in the near future, she could come in and re do our kitchen cabinets! I'm over the moon about this. Don't worry, I'm taking photos to share before and afters with you all. I hope that it turns out as great as we think.

Happiness is...

Having three referrals for kiddos all at the same time and two of them within driving distance of Karianne so we might get to meet sometime soon.  I cannot wait to meet this special friend!

Happiness is...

My baby girl taking 2nd place in dance competetions...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXG8cCXbPY4

Such a pround momma!

Personal Touch

When Joel got home last night from work, I was watching The Golden Girls reruns the We channel. As he was getting ready for bed, some silly commercials came on for wedding shows about bigger is better junk—stuff I would never watch. A few seconds later Joel said, "I really liked our wedding."

Me too, babe. Me too.

I think "personal" is way better than "platinum" any day.

Being Healthy

Oh my! It is spring, and I'm ready to enjoy it. They say that to truly enjoy one extreme you must experience the opposite. Well, I've been sick for close to 3 weeks. I promise promise promise promise that when I get healthy I'm going to enjoy every second. Happiness, come free me.

Being genuine

This morning I was laying in bed with Ivy, listening to husband and both sons in the next room interacting. Chris has one genuine laugh that I love to hear. Mostly, I hear it when I'm not around. The laugh that he uses with me is more dramatic, less so than the laugh he uses with his brother, but still I feel like it is more for attention or show than joy (kind of like he is forcefully using his laughter as a fat burners for men
. But there is a laugh, more like a giggle, much more quiet that he uses with the kids. This morning I heard that laugh over and over while he watched the boys play. My ears and my soul were so happy.

Ivy's Encouragement

Ivy chose a drawing book at her school's book fair. We have been doing the exercises and drawing pets all weekend, along with doing a new skin care routine for me.
While I was drawing the ears on my chihuahua I said that I was having a hard time getting it. Ivy tells me, "That's ok Mama. You are still an artist." How flipping cute is that?

I feel a plan forming

Chris has been focused on redecorating his bathroom for several weeks. Kind of like I focus on quick weight loss JK
During his planning, he will ask me, things like if I have thought of a light fixture for my bathroom (which is also the main bathroom of the house). What paint I'm considering. flooring? I ask him maybe not so calmly to leave me alone, I haven't thought of it yet. And to get off my back and focus on his own stuff. (Can you tell I'm kind of uncomfortable with this kind of stuff? I'm sure no one who reads this is surprised! )

We used a beautiful color in the bedrooms in our old house. I adored it. I have decided to have my bathroom painted in that same color. (The painter comes on Monday)

Well, as soon as I decided on a color, things started to happen. I found a beautiful vintage mirror in an antique shop last week. Which reminded me that my ma gave me an etched mirror that was used in my grandma's house while my ma was growing up. I picked up the mirror today and went to show it to my ma. I told her my deco plan. She then gave me an early bday present and gave me a vintage mirror that she found in the basement of her house when she moved in 13 years ago. :)

I had all of the mirrors strung with wire at a framers this afternoon. I hope that it works out like I'm thinking.

Happiness is...

Friday night
pay day
don't have to work the weekend
going to the movie Valentine's Day w/ my hubby & daughter
popcorn and a diet coke
going to my daughter's dance competition tomorrow
sitting on two solid adoption referrals

Life is good!!!

Stolen continued

* If I were a tree, I’d be a willow.
* If I were a tool, I’d be a paintbrush.
* If I were a flower, I’d be a peony.
* If I were a kind of weather, I’d be snowy.
* If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a harp.
* If I were a color, I’d be periwinkle.
* If I were an emotion, I’d be peace.
* If I were a fruit, I’d be tangerine.
* If I were a sound, I’d be the ocean.
* If I were an element, I’d be wind.
* If I were a car, I’d be an a mustang with additional term life insurance quote
.
* If I were a food, I’d be brownies.
* If I were a place, I’d be a spa.
* If I were a material, I’d be embroidered.
* If I were a taste, I’d be overpowering.
* If I were a scent, I’d be nag champa.
* If I were an object, I’d be a flannel comforter or a pillow.
* If I were a body part, I’d be a hand.
* If I were a facial expression, I’d be contemplative.
* If I were a song, I’d be Copacabana.
* If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be sparkley flip flops

I stole this (intro)

I stole this from Katie, who stole it from the lady at from moon to moon blog. Here goes:

* If I were a month, I’d be September

* If I were a day of the week, I’d be Monday

* If I were a time of day, I’d be 1000 pm while deep conditioning my hair with vitamins for hair
.

* If I were a planet, I’d be Venus.

* If I were a sea animal, I'd be a seal.

* If I were a direction, I’d be west.

* If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a chaise.

* If I were a historical figure, I’d be Margaret Sanger.

* If I were a liquid, I’d be vodka.

* If I were a gemstone, I’d be a moonstone.

I love hearing

the sound of either the dishwasher, clothes washer or dryer running. Especially at night after everyone else is in bed. It makes me feel efficient and indulgent. Like I have a personal staff of help that works even when I'm sitting down playing with toys. When I think of washing dishes and clothes by hand, I wonder how housewives had time for anything else when my nana was raising her kids. I feel very lucky to spend my time writing on the computer, or watching television instead of finishing up those chores.

Happiness is...

a referral for a sibling group of two today.  Girl (7) and Boy (5).  We have read their 200 pages of doucments and are going to ask to be further considered tomorrow.  OMG - OMG -  OMG!!!  More to come...

SPRING!

I'm happy to say that Spring has come to Texas! Yippee! Perhaps we will have one final cold snap. It always seems to happen in March. However this morning was gorgeous, and I walked outside to meet a friend for lunch. So beautiful!

The days are getting longer, and I'm already getting more energy. It sure makes me long for free summers though. I can't believe I've been out of school for almost 10 years now. Crazy.

Speaking of field trips...

My cousin called and reminded me that we are supposed to take Ivy to Camelot tomorrow at our beautiful, historic downtown theatre! Ivy's dance recitals used to be held there, so she knows how pretty it is and she enjoys being in the space. This will be her first play. And one not geared to kids.

homeschool week one

Well, today will be our 3rd homeschool day for this week. The afternoons have been Monday, Thursday and Friday. We have had only 1 major breakdown which is a huge success compared to the 3-6 we normally have. She hasn't been "sick" or got sent home either. There have not been any naps, in fact, her energy and appetite are much better. We haven't needed to install our home security systems yet, as she and I seem to be home quite a bit now. Don't worry though, I'll be throwing in some field trips soon.

Her projects have been a blast and she has learned a lot and so have I.

Many things to be happy about in this situation.

Happiness is...

our homestudy being mailed out today to all those inquiries we have made in the last week.  I just know that our child/ren are not that far away.  YAY!!!

State Baby!

Drove a couple of hours away to watch DHS play for a spot at state. And a lay up with 2 seconds left made it happen. Which caused me to need age spot removal from all of the stress that last second 2 pointer gave me. Talk about a game. My family is ecstatic. To see the looks on my babies faces was priceless. Guess who is cancelling all of her appointments this week? Regardless of how they do I am so happy for these kids. Wow.

Missing someone(s)

I told Kelly that I was apprehensive about the trip to TX because after that weekend, I'd be more apt to acutely miss her, Natalie and other things that I could only experience in TX. (I miss you too Mel, but you are only an hour or so away if I need a hug) :)

Here are some things I miss about our visit. (Besides the company)

• Original recipe Dr. Pepper. I did not think that there would be a difference. But there is! Yes sir, there is.


• BBQ ribs. The ribs here are saucy. The ribs there were rubbed. And OMG sooo good. I have wanted those ribs every single day since we left.


• Joel's sweet potato "chips". Amazing. I have yet to try to make them myself, but I'm a bit scared to.


• Deep fried pickles. I have considered buying a deep fryer to make these. I really don't like french fries. But if I could, I'd eat these pickles every time I had a burger. Women that givetips on budgeting would probably tell me to get the fryer as it is much cheaper than flying back to TX!


• Tequila rose. Yes, I can buy this here. But it's not a lot of fun doing shots by myself and laughing at my own jokes.

But, I'd rather be missing all of this now, than never experienced them at all.

Away games

Although we lost last night, I'm loving going to away games. Total road trip. Last night my brother's tahoe was packed. I'm lucky that I got a seat.

Chris kept the kids and I went to a city about 2.5 hours away. What a nice break from it all. I had a peanut butter twix from the minimart on the way down, a chili dog from A&W on the way back. Watched my nephew try his darndest to make something happen, to no avail with the score. Anyway, I was so proud of him and his passion. That kid doesn't need to eat foods that burn fat because he would waste away with all of his energy. Just really happy to be there. Especially since the boy is a junior and there are only a finite amount of high school games left!

Surprise Coupons

I went to the grocery store today, and some sweet soul left a coupon right next to the product I needed. Yay! A dollar off! It was enough to make me smile. :)

Happiness is...

A completed home study that is signed, sealed, and delivered BABY!!!

Bloggin' Babe Quotes

I was told what happens in Texas, stays in Texas. So this is password protected.
http://showmemore.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/bloggin-babe-quotes/

Password: Texas2010

Dark Chocolate Soufflés

Natalie and I made this little dessert during the weekend, and I was asked to share. Chocolate always makes me happy!

Nonstick cooking spray
2 tbsp granulated sugar
1 tsp of instant coffee powder
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 cup milk
2 egg yolks
4 egg whites
1 tsp vanilla
1/8 tsp cream of tartar

1. Lightly coat eight 4- to 6-ounce ramekins with nonstick cooking spray. In a small bowl stir together the 2 tsp granulated sugar and the instant coffee. Sprinkle on the side and bottom of each dish. Place in a shallow baking pan; set aside.

2. In a medium saucepan stir together 1/2 cup of the granulated sugar, the cocoa powder, flour, and salt. Gradually stir in milk. Cook and stir over medium-high heat until thickened and bubbly. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 1 minute more. Remove from heat. Slightly beat egg yolks. Slowly add chocolate mixture to egg yolks, stirring constantly.

3. In a large mixing bowl combine egg whites, vanilla, and cream of tartar. Beat with an electric mixer on high speed until soft peaks form (tips curl). Gradually add remaining 1/4 cup of granulated sugar, beating on high speed until stiff peaks form (tips stand straight). Gently fold chocolate mixture into egg whites. Spoon into prepared dishes.

4. Set baking pan in oven with the 8 ramekins inside. Pour water in pan about 1/4 inch deep. Bake in a 350° oven about 25 minutes. (Suggestion: don't open the oven.) If desired, sprinkle remaining sugar/coffee mixture over the top. Serve immediately.

I made a huge decision today. One that has been on my mind for literally months. I've waffled back and forth both ways constantly. Today, I finally made my decision. I don't know if it's going to be the best one but it was pointing in the direction my heart was leading me. Either way, I feel SO relieved and uplifted to be free of the burden of decision making that I just had to post...

Carrie

The Best News EVER!!!!!!

Today was a very difficult day and I knew that it would be. My mom and I got in the biggest fight that we have had in the last 7 years. I spent the afternoon in tears.

Coming home after picking up the kids, there was a card stuck in my door. The card said, "A Marquis-Dumas Production" on the front. And on the inside was an ultrasound photo!!!! Yes girls, my beloved sister Landi is PREGNANT!! I'm going to be an Auntie again. Jackson and Julius will be big brothers.

I am over the moon. This is so much better than even being pregnant myself.

My life is great!

I'm gonna use her belly button as a doorbell button to speak to this new baby! The ultrasound is not enough! I can't wait to hear the heartbeat!

Girls' Weekend

Ladies, I can't tell you how much I needed this weekend with the Bloggin' Babes.

1. Hosting
I super love having people in my home. So many people have blessed me in the past by welcoming me into their homes—a few even saving me from some dysfunctional situations. It blesses me to love others in this way.

2. Face to Face
What an amazing gift to have a chance to see people face-to-face who have been such an encouragement to me over the years! In this technological age, who would imagine such deep bonds being created with complete strangers—but it has happened. Each person is so different; yet there is a strong respect and love for the uniqueness that each person brings to the table. I can't get enough of that! Having the opportunity to look these people in the eyes and give hugs to each other has solidified a group friendship that most people would never even imagine could exist.

3. Talking
Since moving to a new town last year, I have missed my girl friendships. It isn't that I don't have friends here in Texas. I do. But with the complications of traffic and time along with a new season of life called marriage, it has put a damper on my close girl friendships. This extended girls' weekend was amazing! It was a solid estrogen fest. :) The topics covered included relationships, periods, politics, religion, kids, funny stories—in essence, everything! I personally don't have a sister, but that's what it felt like to me—a sisters' retreat. I love my blog family!

We are already talking about getting together again next year. I believe Seattle was thrown out as an option, but any other ideas would still be welcome because no decisions have been made for sure. I hope you all consider coming. I promise you won't regret it. :)

READY TO ACCEPT THIS INVITATION...

My friend Karianne has offered me the opportunity to post on this blog and I haven't felt up to doing it until now.  Thank you Karianne for giving me this opportunity.  A Continual Happiness blog is just what I need right now.  Just today my husband and I were approved for our adoption and we can move forth with looking at referrals.  We started this process in August 2008 and today, February 12, 2010 we finally received word from the MN Dept of Human Services that we are ready to move foward. 

So for me today,

Happiness is... the addition to our family that will happen sometime soon. 

Weekend shopping

Chris is the shopper in our family. On Saturday when the kids were with my cousins, we went shopping for new furniture for our living room. The contemporary furniture type is not our favorite, but we did end up with a kind of compromise of our styles.

For the most part, I really don't think too much about what I "like". We have a leather couch set right now and it's fine except for the fact that I find the leather to be cold to sit on. The kids and I are always using blankets to sit on. They were bring alongs from Chris' bachelor apartment. One of the things that made me happy on this visit to the furniture store was that I actually felt like voting "no" on something. And right now I can't remember what it was, but it felt good to have a say. Even though it wasn't in agreement with him, I actually formed an opinion based on how I really felt. I think that chris was even shocked. I think that he was also a little bit happy that he doesn't have to decide all of this on his own.

doing nothing....

I have feared that my home, now that my children's father and I are divorced, would become the "boring" place to be. Some weekends I just want to "be" at home and do laundry and clean up our place and read and play Hello Kitty bingo or Monopoly.

I want the security of the mundane.

Sometimes I get the nagging feeling that his place is the fun house. They always seem to be doing these fantastic things. Sledding, going to the movies, making forts, having parties complete with cupcakes.

Yesterday when I mentioned to my boy that we'd had a fairly boring day, and wondered what he wanted to do, he said, "I just like it when we're here together".

That makes me soooo happy!!

I can see!

Maybe.



If you could see my 3 pairs of glasses that I own, you would crack up. One pair is very ugly and early 90s kind of style. My other two are more in style, but they each only have 1 arm to hook over my ear. The latest adjustment to these glasses were brought on by Becken when he was littler and trying to "help" mommy with putting her glasses on.

Contacts are great but I only use them when I'm going out or want to change the color of my eyes. Otherwise, I stick to not being able to see.
Today I picked up 2 new pairs of glasses that I FINALLY ordered. I'm amazed as always how much better I can see when I put them on. Let's just see how long they last.

Maybe if I ever get around to buying a cell phone signal booster, I"ll be able to hear better as well. That will be pretty far down on the list I think.

Beautiful

Tonight we were at my nephew's game and the cheerleaders had a half time show. After the music and dancing were over, the cheer squad headed across the gym to the student section. Bec was mesmerized. He looked over at me and said, "Mama, they are beautiful." I told him that I knew they were very pretty to look at. He then said, "Mama, and you are beautiful too." Awwww. What a son!! It made my night and then some. My nephews are all teenagers now and I know that my sister would be needing to do her own funeral planning if her boys said that to her. She would have keeled over from shock.

10 on Tuesday

I checked for the ten on tuesday link today and I can't find the one for this date. So I'm gonna make up my own. I'm avoiding cleaning my house. I'd rather be doing exercises for arthritis treatment than sweeping the floor at this moment.

Ten Things That Sound Good to Eat Right Now (not necessarily together)

1. fig newtons
2. chocolate milk
3. chow mein
4. chile rellenos
5. toasted marshmallow latte
6. brownies
7. double quarter pounder with cheese
8. little dude cheeseburger
9. corona lite
10. twirls

Food tv

i first began to love foodtv when I was first pregnant with Henry and I couldn't actually keep food down. It was heaven to be able to watch food being prepared without having to smell it. Or be the one who was doing the preparing.



This week I thought of another reason that I love having the foodtv channel on our cable listings. Whenever I am watching a show, I don't have to worry about what is going to be heard or seen by my kids. They are able to watch right beside me and I have no fear about what they are witnessing. Chris and I watch that channel more often than any other and the kids are starting to tune in too to certain shows that they like as well. It is turning into a family activity!

Ivy and I love to watch the cooking challenges. Last night was the Pillsbury bake off at some sort of Toronto hotels, or somewhere like that. One day it would be so cool to travel to watch a live challenge. Gotta start saving some $

And more!

I forgot to mention that this was housekeeper day! So along with the construction sounds, they cleaning sounds of the vacuum, the dishwasher, the washer and the dryer added into to the pleasing sounds to my ears. Who needs a destin florida condo rentals when life at home can be this good?
Really enjoyable is the fact that I'm not doing any of it! I think that is the best part for sure.

I love the sound

of construction! On my house! I am hopefully not going to be dealing with a leaky basement for that much longer. The work going on around here today included digging out the old badly sloped concrete that was covering a huge hole down the north exterior wall. When the rain or thaw ran to that part of the house, the hole would fill and then spread all along under the basement floor causing amounts of water to come into that side of the basement. They are filling the hole and resolving the other drainage issue by installing a window well and repouring the concrete in an eye pleasing fashion. And then with a dry basement, hopefully we can head to Best Buy to get a new tv, so we can put the old one in the basement with the Wii and the kids!

On the south side they are replacing a cracked drainage pipe and extending the runoff drain to the driveway instead of having it close to the house.

Inside they are removing a section of wall and replacing the sheetrock and retaping it. With the above filling of the hole, the water pressure caused the seams to pop and the sheetrock to pull away.

I love it!

Putting the baby to bed

tonight I took the baby around to everyone to say goodnight. Chris was already asleep. Ivy said, "Goodnight baby." Bec says, "Goodnight baby, see you at the morning. Oh, and happy birthday! And Merry Christmas!" I have no idea why, but it was really cute. I'm so glad that I'm able to post these here so I have an online backup of how cute my kids are at this age.

Funny New Year 2

from my friend Misty:

"After careful consideration, I've decided to renew your friendship contract for 2010. I kinda like your ass so don't fuck it up.
...Love you"

That one seriously cracked me up big time. I'm forwarding it for sure!

Funny New year 1

Although we stayed in and were lame last night, I did get some funny text messages from my friends that I read this morning since I was putting off making my resolutions. (Has anyone seen those electronic cigarettes? I'll bet there will be a run on them for everyone quitting smoking this year. they look interesting.)

Here is the first one from my pal lex:
"Before the sun sets, before the memories fade,before the networks get jammed and before I get drunk, naked and lose my phone, I'm wishing you a happy new year!"

So funny!