Desperately Seeking Positive Vibes

Last September, my family and I moved to Illinois. Since then, I have received my IL teaching certificate(s). I am approved to teach K-6 (self-contained classroom), middle school language arts and social studies, as well as reading. Additionally, I am a Reading Specialist and have three years of successful teaching working as a middle school language arts teacher. Sounds like I'm set, right? I'm ready to go out there and find a great teaching job? Well, that's what I thought at first, but lately, I have been hearing a lot of negative feedback from well-meaning 'friends' such as:

*You'll have to get a job far away because you will never break into the districts here. (Here being the Northshore of Chicago where I recently moved to!)

*Maybe you can spend next year working as a teacher's aide!

*You should try subbing on a day-to-day basis! (Not possible with no permanent child care at this time.)

These are only a few of the negative statements that I have heard. There are more, but I think you can get the general message here. The vibes are bad and weighing me down.

Please girls, I really would love to hear some positive statements today. I have gone through a lot just to move here and I really need a full-time teaching job that pays well to support my two children. Going back to work is not an option for me at this time.

Happiness is....

Wasting my time, er, contributing to the good of the financial interests of Wally and Mr. Dog, playing Cash Cow and Cash Cow 2 on Webkinz half the day.

I'm happy!!!!!!!!!

Girls, it's been a long time since I felt happy. Hence, not really being able to feel like posting here. But, by the grace of God, I think I am happy again. Couldn't wait to share it with YOU, the happiness girls!!!!!

Thanks for letting me be here with you all, through rain and shine, and most of all, to share the HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

Things today that are making me happy:

1) The sun is shining

2) My kids are playing together nicely!

3) I'm keeping up with the laundry

4) I'm cooking dinner for a friend tonight and it's not overwhelming me!

5) We are going on a mini-vacation with some of our best friends this weekend.

6) I'm sitting here typing to all of you girls, with my coffee beside me, piping hot, and all is well with my world for the moment!


Have a happy day, my friends!!!!!

Abreva

I have only started to get cold sores since I have been in my 20s, but I think that they rank up at the bane of my existence. They hurt so bad! I had no clue.

Enter Abreva. This stuff is amazing. The cold sore that started just a few days ago is practically gone. Enough so I can put on lipstick and you can't even tell.

Abreva makes my pain and my face happy.

2/21/08 Happy Things

• Having my church friend Darian as my teller in the bank drive-up window this morning - and getting Tootsie Rolls from her with my receipts.


• Eating Lucky Charms for dinner - and then a bowl of popcorn while watching Stargate: Atlantis on DVD. (Yes, Karianne. To me popcorn is a happy thing.)


• Knowing that tomorrow is Friday!

2/14/08 Happy Things

• The days are getting noticeably longer!


• My 8yo son ("Sugar Bear") responded to my comment that we were going to be late to his school reading night because I hadn't even put on my make-up yet by saying, "I think you look good like you are right now."


• I am thinking of all of you on this Valentine's Day.

Love You Guys!

image from apoeticdreamerssoul.blogspot.com

happiness is spending time with my seester

I usually have to work every Tuesday, so I was really excited when a coworker volunteered to work my shift for me yesterday. I have been so busy lately, and I really needed the day off.

I met Dana at her apartment, and we walked across the street to start our morning off with a latte from Tully's. We sat in some chairs in the window. At this Tully's they had the cutest children's table and chairs that had been painted such vibrant colors. I made Dana promise that when I move out she'll help me paint my kitchen table in a similar manner.

Then we went to the YMCA in downtown Tacoma. We did 30 minutes on an elliptical, which was great because I haven't been able to get to the gym in a week. It felt good. We talked the whole time, which made the 30 minutes fly by! I think we kind of annoyed this one guy, who left after a really short time, but oh well. I needed that time to just talk with my sister. After the elliptical we went upstairs to do some weights, and while we were doing that she told me about a dream she had where she pierced her nose, and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Which prompted me to talk her into getting her nose pierced. Of course.



It turned out really cute. And she was pierced by a guy who had a trophy on his desk that said "Overall Best Male", so we teased him for that. Apparently he won it in a tattoo competition, but it made me laugh.

Can I talk to you about my baby girl?

Warning: This is a super sappy post!

I just am overwhelmed with emotion and I had to share it with someone.

I have two boys who are my life. I honestly thought that I would always have boys. I could just never picture myself with a girl. I thought at first that this was a girl, then I decided it was probably a boy and was thinking boy until that big ultrasound.

Anyway, at first I was shell shocked, I'll admit it. Not that Il wasn't excited, it was just different than I planned, kwim?

Now that I've had time to digest it all, I can't even explain the emotion I feel. The love isn't any stronger, than it was with the boys.... it's just.....I don't know how to explain it. The feeling it brings me. But it's like I feel like God is giving me a gift that I really, really needed, and didn't even know it.

My mom is my best friend. We talk a million times a day and she has always been 'my person'. Ever since she got sick that kind of changed. I mean, she is still my best friend, but our relationship has also changed dynamics. I can't explain it, but I know you understand why it would change. And please don't think I'm counting her out... we still talk 24-7 and are a great support to eachother. It's just different, that's all.

All that to say ever since then... my heart has kind of had a hole in it. I'm not really close to any other woman like I am with my mom. I love my sister, love my best friend, love my other friends, but I just have a hard time being vulnerable to anyone aside from my mom, and now it's hard to be vulnerable about anything in front of her since it's her cancer that scares me most in my life right now. And I just sort of felt alone on the womanly front. Kind of like I was on a team alone. To think of her gone and me really being alone just cracks my heart in a way I can't explain.

And then my sweet baby A came and my heart... I can't explain it. I feel like a part of my soul has literally been transferred to her soul. It's almost a spirtual feeling. (Okay, laugh at me. I know I'm crazy.) I feel like no matter what happens in life, I will have someone on my team. That she is a piece of me that will always be here, no matter what happens to me. It still feels like hell to think about life without my mom one day, but I will have my own daughter. My daughter. Another woman on my side. I just can't get over it. I'll get to experience the relationship I have with my mom again... just this time I'll be the mom. The emotion I feel is so strong that I just had to get it out. I am so thankful that I had a daughter right NOW. Not 5 years ago, or 3 years ago, but right now. I don't think I ever would have appreciated her in the depth of the way I do now.

I never will understand how I got pregnant with her, but now I know *why*.



PS: If she grows a penis, she's in so much trouble!

doG is Love

I have no kids, so I can't speak to that audience... But I do know that when you care for a dog, you know unconditional love.

You also know...

...that you will never be able to sleep in. Ever. Again.

...that you will always have a use for old stuffed animals.

...that you will never lack for comic relief.

...that you will never be alone in the kitchen.

...that you will never have to throw away leftovers again. Ever.

...that if you play hard, you've got to nap hard.

...that you never met a cheese you didn't like.

...that someone's lap makes a nice drool-catcher.

...that a ride in the car is the best thing ever.

...and at the end of the day, nothing beats a nice six-pack.

Oh wait...that last one I didn't learn from the dog. Doesn't make it any less true.

Goodnight, Folks! Don't forget to spay or neuter your pets!

Look At What I Just Purchased

I got the following link from KB's blog. Three Buttons

She has a store where she sells kits and patterns for

Miss Buttons

Is she adorable or what? I just bought the kit which comes with the pattern and everything needed to make her. The fabrics will be a surprize. How exciting!!

Making her will have to be a reward for something BIG. I'll have to think of something appropriate, like getting our taxes done or something like that. I can't wait until she gets here and I can bring her to life! I'm hoping that she will be really fun to make so I can make sisters for her too. Yeah Miss Buttons!